Emotional Eating P:1
What’s up you?! Let’s start off by cleaning up some myths shall we? Or myth-itis as I like to call the lies in our heads when they get inflamed.
Here is what I want you to know: emotional eating or overeating isn’t about you. I know … shocking! 😳
And here is why.
Our value as humans is not in question here, it’s actually never in question. Our value isn’t determined by our behavior. It was set the moment we began to exist. Innate value and behavior are two separate things.
INNATE VALUE: UNCHANGEABLE
HUMAN BEHAVIOR: DETERMINES THE TYPE OF EXPERIENCES ONE HAS AND SHARES WITH OTHERS
a conscious mental reaction subjectively experienced as strong feeling. Typically accompanied by *physiological and behavioral changes in the body. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary).
*chemical releases (hormones) vibrating throughout the body, generating responses that we deem to be either positive or negative.
I believe that the most harmful side effect of overeating, even surpassing the negative physical results on ones’ health, is the emotional state one spirals down into after indulging in such behavior.
Unable to separate their individual worth from their mistaken behavior, they come to believe that THEY are the mistake, not that they make mistakes. This thought pattern then creates a vicious cycle keeping them stuck in the same set of emotions which they so desperately want to turn away from.
That is when shame moves in and self-love moves out my friend. That is simply THE WORST move EV-AH, and if you have seen me dancing you know that I knoooow about moves 😏
So next time you do something that brings on shame I want you to say: “Hello shame. I see you.” Recognize it for what it is. An emotion. Not a definition of your value.
Just like you know what to do with joy and love, your body is also designed to feel negative emotion, such as shame. It doesn’t have to move in though, it can just live in the neighborhood as it does for every human who is not a narcissistic psychopath.
So next time you ask yourself: What is wrong with me?! The answer is nothing.
Nothing is wrong.
You aren’t an alien, and that is the problem - you are a human.
Welcome fellow human.
It sucks sometimes, but when it doesn’t suck oh man! This whole mortality/life deal is the micdrop of the whole Creation, after all we are made in the image of God. He is perfect. Perfect Beings don’t make mistakes my friend, so you CAN’T be a mistake.
And hey, if you don’t believe in this whole God/Creation Christian deal it’s all good, just insert here your belief system that makes life tick for you. Universal energy coming together to create this moment in time where you exist, therefore you matter.
Maybe human life has become common place in today’s society with technological advances but just ask a parent who has lost a child and maybe you’ll get a glimpse of how priceless each individual is. Even the “bad guys”. Remember, innate value and behavior are 2 separate things… but I digress, back to emotional eating.
You got the point, right?
UPLEVEL PHASE I
So WHAT is overeating about then?!
Overeating is a buffer you and I use to avoid feeling negative emotion, to escape pain, to seek pleasure. It’s a coping mechanism we developed or learned somewhere along the way and no matter how many tips, programs, eating plans you find in the big world wide web it won’t work, at least not for long.
Yes, we will talk about the physical and nutritional aspects of emotional eating, hold your horses, but first I needed you to start working on your head.
This is an inside job. I know - been there, still there, doing that 😉
So here some take-aways for today’s portion:
Keep/start a journal.
Talk - Be it with a Professional Therapist, a trusted friend or a loved one.
Shame likes to hide and the only thing we develop in the dark are negatives. Shine a light on the behavior bringing you shame.
I know, this is SOOO flipping scary! Probably the hardest part of this phase, being vulnerable doesn’t come easy and it’s a big risk. And that is why these 2 items are your only “homework” for now. They are simple but NOT easy!
The journal pages can be kept or trashed, burned, torn into pieces, used as clean up paper for when your dog goes #2 … whatever.
The point of this is to get all of the thoughts creating your emotions (you know, the ones you are eating in order to avoid?) GET. THEM. OUT of your head!
They aren’t serving you. You think they are true, but just try out for a moment that you might be wrong about them 🤷🏽♀️
Smart people once thought that the Earth was flat. Their mistaken idea was due to the lack of proper tools that broadened their perspective. Smart people still have thought errors nowadays. I’d bet you are one of those mistaken smart people when it comes to the thoughts you have about yourself. Yeah … I’m pretty smart too when it comes to that.
And if you are guy reading this (besides my husband, who is forced to read my posts, I believe that most guys gave up reading somewhere around the 2nd paragraph) I know what you are thinking … “this is a bunch of boloney.” - “I don’t even write my own name let alone keep a journal, lady.” - “real men don’t talk about their feelings, this chic is just lame.”
Well, you might be right! After all I’m not a guy but from what I have seen from my male clients is that smart people have thought errors too 😉 what do you have to lose if you try?
Ok, enough talk (me), reading (you), time to get to work! I know you don’t want to, silly, no one ever does. Emotional hygiene is one of those being-a-human-sucks moment but worth every second of discomfort.
Just reading about it will only get your “smarter”, and I think we determined that smart people aren’t always right. Action will get you closer to being less smart and more emotionally intelligent.
I hope I have helped you see that this is NOT something special to you. The fact that people around you might not be talking openly about this doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling with something similar. Get off your head and come hang out with other struggling folk over here, I got you!
See you on Part II - Emotional Eating and Nutrition.
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